I'm a lifeguard and today a little four year old girl slipped and fell and hit her head. Her mom took her to me and I was first guard for the whole incident, as well as guard in charge (i.e. I took care of her first aid, and ordered the other two around.)... in the end everything was okay. She came back after going with EMS to the hospital and getting her head "glued" together (I'm thinking it must be like a fancy version of liquid skin--because they use "staples" for stitches, so glue must be for bandaids? Oh those emerg. doctors..) to talk to me and thank me and let me know she was ok and we had a good giggle about how wierd it is to get glued together. Her mom wrote me/my boss a two page letter thanking the staff, and me in particular as I was the only guard she really dealt with, for how we handled it all.
She left her address so I wanted to thank her for letting me know she was ok (definately made me feel a good bit better)
I wrote a thank you on the back to Simone (i.e. in language a four year old will get) and added: "I think this giraffe had one too many strawberry ice creams!"
((She was too young to know what day it was, or even her address. Some of my questions to assess her LOC included favourite animal (giraffe), favourite color (pink) and favourite ice cream flavor (strawberry)...))
As if the day wasn't crazy enough, when we finally re-opened the pool later on in the day I was first guard for another incident, but it was a minor and no real treatment was required other than some calming down and some speaking, and filling out yet another report.
So all is good right?
So why am I unable to eat, and I just keep thinking about it.. the amount of blood.. the smell.. talking to her.. the things I did wrong, the things I did right. I don't feel guilty--I got enough compliments from her mother, my coworkers, the patrons and even EMS that I know I did well. (And besides, she came back beaming and giggling--what more could I ask for?)
I'm tired but I can't sleep. My stomach is aching but I can't bring myself to eat... I want to talk to someone but I can't pick up the phone, I dont know what I'd say or how it would help. So I guess I posted here. The joy of the internet.